parenting
Dating as a single parent can feel like a lot. In an ideal world, Mr Right would spill coffee on you in an adorable meet-cute, and you’ d instantly hit it off. He’ d adore your children, and you’ d all live happily ever after. But life isn’ t a Hallmark movie, and for most of us, that means we need to get out there and, argh, date! Luckily for you, we tapped certified matchmaker, life coach, and founder of Miingle Matchmaking, Michelle De Lange, for her tips and tricks for getting back out there.
Are you ready to start dating?
Before you download any dating apps, it’ s worth checking whether you’ re truly ready.
In Michelle’ s experience, a lot of single mums want to date long before they’ re emotionally ready. According to her, the biggest signs that you’ re ready include feeling more confident in yourself, having processed past relationships and genuinely wanting companionship, not just distraction.“ If you’ re talking about dating positively, feeling hopeful about love again or seeking out social situations, that’ s usually a sign you’ re ready,” she explains.
And don’ t underestimate the practical side.“ If your life feels organised enough that you actually have the time and energy for someone new, that’ s huge,” Michelle adds.
Mindset shifts that make dating easier
Dating can feel intimidating, but Michelle believes the right mindset changes everything. Embracing your self-worth, prioritising your own happiness, and treating dating as something fun – not a chore – helps build healthier connections. She also recommends adopting a“ growth mindset”. Not every date will be fireworks, and that’ s okay.“ Sometimes failure can help reduce anxiety and encourage resilience when facing challenges.”
Boundaries matter too.“ Learning to establish and communicate boundaries clearly can create a foundation of respect in new relationships.”
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Common dating pitfalls( and how to dodge them like a pro)
Michelle says these five traps come up again and again for single mums:
1
Rushing into a relationship
“ Loneliness can make anyone jump in too quickly,” she warns. Slow and steady helps you spot compatibility( or the lack of it).
2
Neglecting your own needs
Mums are pros at self-sacrifice.“ But in dating, you matter just as much as your kids. Don’ t shrink your needs to make something work,” Michelle stresses.
3
Introducing a partner too soon
It’ s tempting when things feel exciting, but she advises patience.“ Kids form bonds fast. Only introduce someone once you know the relationship is stable.”
4
Ignoring red flags We’ ve all been there.“ If something feels off, trust yourself. Small red flags become big ones later.”
5
Comparing everyone to your ex New relationships need space to be new.“ Don’ t measure someone by your past. Give them a fair chance,” she says.
Pick somewhere comfortable so you can relax and be yourself.
Where on earth are you meant to meet people?
Dating in your 20s and dating as a parent are two very different ball games. You probably aren’ t going to meet THE ONE yelling over music in a club. Luckily, you don’ t have to.
Michelle suggests mixing things up:“ Matchmaking is great for single mums because it saves time and aligns with your lifestyle,” she explains. She also encourages joining community classes, attending events, or getting involved in hobbies or volunteering. Even parenting groups can spark unexpected connections.
And yes, tell your friends you’ re open to meeting someone.“ Sometimes the best connections come through people you already know.”
Getting out there doesn’ t have to be dramatic. Start small – more social outings, a coffee here, a class there. Stay open, stay safe, and stay patient.
Feeling discouraged? You’ re not alone
Dating can be draining, especially when you’ re juggling, well … everything. But Michelle wants you to know this:“ It’ s okay to take breaks. It’ s okay to feel frustrated. What matters is that you don’ t give up on yourself or on the idea of love.”
Lean on your support system, stay open to new experiences, celebrate small wins, and remember – you’ re building a life, not just searching for a partner. �
Michelle’ s top five first-date tips for single mums
Her advice is simple, grounded and, more importantly, doable: 1 2 3 4 5
Be upfront about being a mum. No need for a grand reveal later.
Keep healthy boundaries and don’ t overshare too soon.
Choose a time that works with your parenting schedule so you’ re not distracted.
Keep the conversation light.
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