BABY MAMA May 2016 | Page 5

S hortly after my son and lays a healthful gourmet games your child was diagnosed with dinner on the table night after will want to autism, someone handed night. But her kids are never play are boring. me a poem about how God home . . . they’re always As far as I’m handpicks the parents upon down the street, eating store- concerned, whom He bestows special- bought snacks at the messy there’s a needs children. Ugh. Extra house of their friend, whose circle of hell challenges aren’t an honor— sweatpants-wearing mother that’s one they’re a possibility we all happily ignores her chores in endless game of accept when we decide to have favor of playing games with Candyland. kids. We roll up our sleeves her kids. and do the best we can for our Even The moral: children would imaginative play kids because we love them, not rather have their mother’s can lose its charm because we were pre-vetted. attention than a perfect home. after a while. How Despite the obvious sexism many fake pies can So I learned to be wary of moralistic homilies, but there (where the hell were the one woman pretend was an essay that was passed fathers in all this?), I approved to eat? (Kudos to my around mom-to-mom that did of the message—probably husband, who figured make an impression on me because I am all about letting out that he could play when my kids were small. (I my house get messy. That’s sick patient and just sit in don’t know its origin, so if not a problem for me. a chair and doze while our anyone does, please tell me But I do have to admit that daughter covered him with a in the comments and I’ll give as much as I was willing to blanket and fussed over him.) credit where credit is due.) It ignore dishes and clutter to But as tempting as it was told the story of two mothers: spend time with my kids, let our TV do the babysitting, one keeps a clean and elegant I did occasionally drag my I tried to resist always taking home, always is beautifully feet about actually playing the easy way out. Yes, dressed and coiffed, brings with them, which was a lot games could be boring and home-baked cookies to every more work than putting on a exhausting and require school event, Sesame Street video. Playing tons of turn-mediation, takes energy, and also patience—no one warns you when you’re pregnant that a lot of the and, yes, books and my laptop were always calling out to me (fortunately I didn’t have