S
hortly after my son
and lays a healthful gourmet
games your child
was diagnosed with
dinner on the table night after
will want to
autism, someone handed night. But her kids are never
play are boring.
me a poem about how God
home . . . they’re always
As far as I’m
handpicks the parents upon
down the street, eating store-
concerned,
whom He bestows special-
bought snacks at the messy
there’s a
needs children. Ugh. Extra
house of their friend, whose
circle of hell
challenges aren’t an honor—
sweatpants-wearing mother
that’s one
they’re a possibility we all
happily ignores her chores in
endless game of
accept when we decide to have
favor of playing games with
Candyland.
kids. We roll up our sleeves
her kids.
and do the best we can for our
Even
The moral: children would
imaginative play
kids because we love them, not
rather have their mother’s
can lose its charm
because we were pre-vetted.
attention than a perfect home.
after a while. How
Despite the obvious sexism
many fake pies can
So I learned to be wary of
moralistic homilies, but there
(where the hell were the
one woman pretend
was an essay that was passed
fathers in all this?), I approved
to eat? (Kudos to my
around mom-to-mom that did
of the message—probably
husband, who figured
make an impression on me
because I am all about letting
out that he could play
when my kids were small. (I
my house get messy. That’s
sick patient and just sit in
don’t know its origin, so if
not a problem for me.
a chair and doze while our
anyone does, please tell me
But I do have to admit that
daughter covered him with a
in the comments and I’ll give
as much as I was willing to
blanket and fussed over him.)
credit where credit is due.) It
ignore dishes and clutter to
But as tempting as it was
told the story of two mothers:
spend time with my kids,
let our TV do the babysitting,
one keeps a clean and elegant
I did occasionally drag my
I tried to resist always taking
home, always is beautifully
feet about actually playing
the easy way out. Yes,
dressed and coiffed, brings
with them, which was a lot
games could be boring and
home-baked cookies to every
more work than putting on a
exhausting and require
school event,
Sesame Street video. Playing
tons of turn-mediation,
takes energy, and also
patience—no one warns
you when you’re
pregnant that
a lot of the
and, yes, books and my
laptop were always
calling out to me
(fortunately
I didn’t
have