Babs BookMark Issue 4 Volume 1 | Page 24

As she rose, her mother’s flowing white hair filled Rebecca’s field of vision. Her mother’s hands gripped Rebecca’s shoulders. “Jack would have wanted you to go.” She stared Rebecca in the eyes. Rebecca glared back with pursed lips. Her mother couldn’t know what Jack wanted her to do. She wasn’t sure of it herself and she’d been married to him for fifteen years. Her mother pulled her into a hug—but not the way she used to hug her. The hugs had once filled her with love and warmth, but now she hugged her the same way everyone else did—like she was glass. Like, if they hugged her too hard, she might break. Since suddenly losing Jack three years ago, nothing felt the same. Hugs felt distant. Colors faded to gray. She travelled her life empty inside. The world was blank, with the exception of Rebecca’s two daughters. They were the only color in her life now. She kept going for them and only them. Until today. Today was for her. Today she approached the world as one instead of part of a pair. “Rebecca, trust me. Just go and enjoy yourself. It’s okay to enjoy yourself. Everything will be fine here. I promise.” Doubt filled every crevice. Could she do this? Alone? Should she do this? “Mom, I’m just so tired of…”