ALL MY CHILDREN
Karen Evans
58
My father, Howard Amster, was a prince of a man and lived an incredible life. He died eight and a half years ago, and I still feel a deep connection to him. Sometimes I feel his presence. He had a great, simple marriage to my mother until the day he passed. He was a WWII vet and was in the plastic manufacturing business. He never gave unsolicited advice, but if you asked, he gave sound advice. He told me,“ Do everything as though the whole world is watching.” It has been my guiding platform. It’ s how I have lived my life, and I try to teach that to my children.
When he was young he purchased a factory in Rhode Island, where I was born. The factory ended up having to file for bankruptcy. My father did not buy a home when we next moved to Chicago, or Mississippi, or anywhere. That was because he’ d made it a point to pay back every investor whose money was lost 100 cents on the dollar out of his own pocket. Every job he had after the bankruptcy, he set aside part of his budget to pay them everyone back. No legal obligation, just a moral obligation. It says a lot about who he was, and it taught me that you have to be ethical and moral and stand by your word.
He moved our whole family from Chicago to Mississippi in 1963. We lived there for almost five years. It was a very segregated world, but nevertheless, he built a factory with a single set of bathrooms, a single set of water fountains, and a single cafeteria – all desegregated. Then he persuaded a black man from Chicago to come to Mississippi to manage a department in the factory. He was a man ahead of his time. When my dad was around 85, he was diagnosed with acute leukemia. The doctors said he had three weeks to three months. My dad said,“ No. I don ' t want any treatments. I just want to go home.” It was the most amazing three months imaginable. He described it as one non-stop party.
My kids are my angels too. Michael, Marco, and Andrew. They’ re all in their mid-20’ s now. When I got divorced, they did two things that speaks volumes about their sensitivity. The first thing was every Saturday, they would take me out to dinner and spend time with me. They wanted to know I wasn’ t just sitting at home. The second thing was they knew how proud I was to wear my wedding band and engagement ring. I loved being a“ Mrs.” It was an adjustment for me to suddenly go around with no rings on my hand. One week after I moved out of my house, it was my birthday, and they gave me a ring. I couldn’ t believe it. It was so special.