MOTHERS & LOVERS
ZIGGY & TIMISHA
22 & 31
Ziggy: When we first met, I was hanging with one of my friends at the mall. He needed socks, so we went into Express. I instantly saw this girl working there wearing a pink blazer with big curly hair. We made the dopest eye contact, and I couldn ' t get my eyes off her. I went up to her and told her she was beautiful and walked away. It was love at first sight.
Tea: I felt my soul seeing an exact reflection of myself. I knew my whole life changed the second I looked at her.
Ziggy: It was difficult because I had just graduated high school about two months before we met. I didn ' t expect to meet the woman of my life. I was still questioning whether I supposed to love a woman or a man. That came from my mom. But when I saw Timisha, I had to tell her that she was beautiful.
Tea: I forgot how to talk when she said it. I always have something to say, so it was the first time I was speechless. And then she left. I told everyone,“ That’ s going to be my girlfriend.” I came into the relationship with two kids from prior dysfunctional relationships. I had my oldest daughter at 18, and my second at 25. I felt a lot of loneliness as a child, so I knew I would raise my kids to have a strong feeling of companionship from me. I was raising them alone when I met Ziggy.
When we first got together, people would ask,“ How did you introduce your kids to her?” I would answer,“ The same way I would introduce them to anyone else.” I didn ' t have to perfect it. My kids didn ' t get a special talk or anything. Love is love. I raised them to be forward-thinking and open minded, so I introduced them to Ziggy, and now they see her as mom. I’ ve always taught them that people may have two moms or two dads, and there may be a lot of differences between you and them, but you embrace all of it because that’ s what humanity is about. It was only natural for a relationship like this to happen.
Ziggy: Our kids motivate me every day. This is my family – mom and mom and two kids. They call me Mama Dukes! Nobody can take my place. It’ s like I created them too. I’ m so excited to watch them grow and see them go to prom and graduate and find their loves and get married. They know what to look for when looking for love.
Tea: I never had good examples growing up, but for our kids, we personify strength. Even though our union is rooted in love and togetherness, there have been a lot of people who don ' t understand us. A lot of things that have happened in our lives could have pulled us apart, but through the negative energy – whether it’ s from financial situations, jobs, family, or school – we know that we are meant to be. Everything we go through is our journey.
Ziggy: We have been through so much in the past three years. We have brought each other up through all our downs. I dealt with not being accepted by my mom. I waited and waited, and then came out as being a lesbian when I was eighteen. On top of that, I was with a woman that was 28 years old with two kids. It was difficult.
Tea: The most important thing for us, is to never let anything negative affect our minds. Later on in life we can talk about how Ziggy’ s mom didn ' t accept us, or about the times when we only had 30 dollars in our bank account and had to struggle to provide for our children, and we’ ll realize that those setbacks were just steps.