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swinging
the lead
Sturridge in cotton wool collision horror
england
Liverpool ace Daniel Sturridge has been
ruled out of contention for six weeks after a
terrifying accident at his home. The injury
was sustained when the striker tripped and
fell into several giant balls of fluffy cotton
wool, which the club use to line the walls
of his house following recommendations
from leading medical specialists. A team
of surgeons was called in to assess the
latest damage to Sturridge. They gave him a
sicknote to take to Anfield, but unfortunately
he sustained paper cuts as he was handing the
document over to Liverpool’s new manager
Jurgen Klopp.
The news is a major setback for Sturridge who
was making a good recovery after sustaining
a twig wound a month ago while enjoying a
walk in Formby Squirrel Reserve. Liverpool
have launched an immediate investigation
Left: Daniel Sturridge makes his 1,370th visit
to hospital this year
into the composition of the cotton wool used,
specially manufactured by Nike and designed
to reduce friction on impact. Messages of
support have flooded in for Sturridge on
Twitter, particularly from board members of
BUPA who affectionately refer to the striker
by his nickname – ‘Kerching’.
However, not everyone has been sympathetic
to Sturridge’s plight. Tommy Nutter, chairman
of the ‘I Played In The 60s’ Federation, said
he was becoming increasingly frustrated at
the amount of injuries modern day footballers
were complaining about. ‘They have it too
easy these days. I remember once when I
was a centre half I played 90 minutes with
concussion,’ Mr Nutter added.
‘Gaffer said he’d never seen me play so well.
From that day on, just before every game he
used to hit me over the head with a hammer.
Happy times.’
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