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brewing
up fifa
FIFA now only consists of a tea-lady and the cat
england
After the exit of Sepp Blatter and Michel
Platini, FIFA now consists of the office cat
and a tea-lady called Kath, with all other
employees either suspended, banned or
arrested.
The shock news that the whole of world
football is in the hands of the lady who makes
the tea and a cat called Puddles will come
as a lift to football fans who will see the new
leadership as vastly more suited to the job
than a bunch of grotesquely corrupt old men.
Immediately changes within the organisation
were evident with Kath declaring that on her
watch all tea would be made in a pre-warmed
pot and the cake trolley will have a lovely
Battenberg on it made by her friend Sylvia.
Former England great Gary Lineker gave
Edna’s words a cautious welcome.
“Obviously, I’d like to understand Kath’s views
on the specifics of how to deal with the World
Cup in Qatar, and how to institute full internal
organisational reform,” he said, whilst eating
some crisps.
“But, frankly, Kath’s promise of a pre-warmed
pot is the most sensible thing to come out of
FIFA in years.”
Puddles also showed he has strong views on
the current state of world football.
“Meow,” he said.
Left: Tea lady Kath pours a special brew for
Ruud Gullitt in her time as Newcastle United’s
‘brew mistress’ before her promotion to the
head of FIFA
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