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true love
The Highways Agency found over 200 dead crows on the
M4 near Bridgend recently, and there was concern that
they may have died from Avian Flu.
A Pathologist examined the remains of all the crows,
and, to everyone’s relief, confirmed the problem was
NOT Avian Flu. The cause of death appeared to be from
vehicular impacts. However, during analysis it was
noted that varying colours of paints appeared on the
bird’s beaks and claws.
By analysing these paint residues it was found that 98%
of the crows had been killed by impact with lorries,
while only 2% were killed by cars.
The Agency then hired an Ornithological Behaviourist to
determine if there was a cause for the disproportionate
percentages of truck kills versus car kills.
The Ornithological Behaviourist quickly concluded that
when crows eat road kill, they always have a look-out
crow to warn of danger.
They discovered that while all the lookout crows could
shout “Cah”, not a single one could shout “Lorry”
10
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spice girls
My girlfriend revealed to me that she’s a huge fan of The
Spice Girls.
“Well, tonight is the night when two become one,” I
winked.
“Aww, that’s really sweet,” she giggled.
“No, I mean I’m leaving you,” I said.
a little irony...
Not exactly a joke, but the image of the book cover
below was a genuine book released in 1985. In the
introduction Savile says: “Will you remember a stranger
is danger when you are on your own? Will you remember
the stories in your book? I hope so because I like you and
want you to be safe and happy. Best wishes from your
friend, Jimmy Savile.”
life saver
Bob receives the following text from his neighbour:
‘I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have
to confess. I have been nobbling your wife, day and night
when you’re not around, I’m not getting any at home, but
that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and
I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my
promise that it won’t happen again’.
Bob feels anguished and betrayed and enters his
bedroom, grabs his gun, and without a word, shoots his
wife and kills her.
A few moments later, a second text comes in:
‘Damn auto-correct. I meant “Wi-Fi”, not “Wife”’.
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