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Brendan Rodgers and Stuart Lancaster to open singles bar together
england
The disgraced former coach of Liverpool FC
and the disgraced soon-to-be former coach
of the England rugby team are going into
business.
The two men will soon be opening of the doors
of “Try ‘n’ Score”, a singles bar for desperate
humans with nothing to lose.
“It’s a new direction for us” admitted
Lancaster, “but what we lack in experience,
we more than make up for in karma owing us
a bit of luck at some point.”
“We’re fairly confident that that will see us
through.”
Brendan Rodgers said “it’s either this or
commentary, and I don’t like what that’s
done to Gary Neville’s face. I’m sure it wasn’t
always that bad.”
“We’ll be starting with “Blokes’ Night”, where
all the fellas get in for half-price, and we’re
going to play nothing but Whitesnake.”
“And we’re going to have really horrifying
fellas on the door, just to give it that
welcoming atmosphere.”
“We are going to use all our contacts to ensure
that we have a heavy celebrity presence most
nights, although so far we have only had a
positive response from Orville The Duck, but
we are certain that we will soon have the likes
of Wayne Rooney and John Terry here looking
for a bit of skirt.”
“It’s proof that we can run a nightclub every
bit as well as we can run a sports’ team.”
Above: Brendan Rodgers has undergone a
Lionel Richie makeover for the planned ‘70’s
night at ‘Try ‘n’ Score’, while Stuart Lancaster
has apparently opted for a classic Saturday
Night Fever white suit look
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