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modern christmas cracker jokes
UK TV channel Gold ran a poll for people to vote for the
top ten modern Christmas cracker jokes, with more than
two thousand British adults participating and voting
on a shortlist compiled by a panel of judges. The jokes
were selected from those submitted by amateur wits
and comedians, as they were challenged to write their
own jokes to liven up the usual offerings after previous
research revealed that most people find cracker gags
outdated.
Let’s see how they got on...
10. Why is The Great British Bake-Off like the nativity?
Because the Star is in the Yeast.
9. I got a Ukip advent calendar. It’s rubbish, all the doors
keep slamming shut.
8. Why are snowmen rubbish at cricket?
They’re always bowling snow-balls.
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6. What’s the difference between Bono and Santa?
Santa gives you things you want.
5. Why is Christmas a busy time for David Cameron?
He’s got two parties to organise.
4. What did the snowman say to the aggressive carrot?
“Get out of my face.”
3. What do the UK royal family play at Christmas instead
of musical chairs?
Game Of Thrones.
2. How does Luis Suarez like his Christmas dinner?
Bite-sized.
1. What will be missing from Take That’s Christmas
stocking this year?
An Orange.
7. Why won’t Santa visit Nigel Farage?
Because he only comes if you sleep, not if Ukip
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