AWOL 2014 Issue 308 12th December | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern The Hat An elderly man was quite unhappy because he had lost his favorite hat. Instead of buying a new one, he decided he would go to church and swipe one out of the vestibule. When he got there, an usher intercepted him at the door and took him to a pew where he had to sit and listen to the entire sermon on “The Ten Commandments.” After church, the man met the preacher in the vestibule doorway, shook his had vigorously, and told him “I want to thank you preacher for saving my soul today. I came to church to steal a hat and after hearing your sermon on the 10 Commandments, I decided against it.” Preacher: “You mean the commandment ‘I shall not steal’ changed your mind?” Old Man: “No, the one about adultery did. As soon as you said that I remember where I left my old hat!” TWO NUNS AND A BLIND MAN Two nuns are ordered to paint a room in the convent, and the last instruction of the Mother Superior is that they must not get even a drop of paint on their habits. After conferring about this for a while, the two nuns decide to lock the door of the room, strip off their habits, and paint in the nude. In the middle of the project, there comes a knock at the door. “Who is it?”, calls one of the nuns. “Blind man,” replies a voice from the other side of the door. The two nuns look at each other and shrug, and, deciding that no harm can come from letting a blind man into the room, they open the door. “Nice tits,” says the man, “where do you want these blinds?” Contacting AWOL Telephone: Facebook: Twitter: Office: 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) AWOLexpat awolhuahin 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term Cowboy boots Bert, age 80, always wanted a pair of authentic cowboy boots, so, seeing some on sale, he bought them and wore them home. Walking proudly, he sauntered into the kitchen and said to his wife,”Notice anything different about me?” Margaret, age 75, looked him over. “Nope.” Frustrated, Bert stormed off into the bathroom, undressed and walked back into the kitchen completely naked except for the boots. Again he asked Margaret, a little louder this time, “Notice anything different NOW?” Margaret looked up and said in her best deadpan, “Bert, what’s different?It’s hanging down today, it was hanging down yesterday, it’ll be hanging down again tomorrow.” Furious, Bert yelled, “AND DO YOU KNOW WHY IT’S HANGING DOWN, MARGARET?” “Nope. Not a clue”, she replied. “IT’S HANGING DOWN, BECAUSE IT’S LOOKING AT MY NEW BOOTS!” Without missing a beat Margaret replied, “Shoulda bought a hat, Bert! Shoulda bought a hat.” old friends Two Scotsmen met 25 years after their last