AWOL 2014 Issue 304 7th November | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Indian Soi 94 Certificate of Excellence restaurant 2012, 2013, 2014 Curries from only 90 baht Eat in or takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You’ll discover a brilliant legal loophole that will both get rid of that annoying guy at work and force the Department of Justice to serve you any meal you want. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You firmly believe that everything has a soul, which explains why you think your tape dispenser is a bad person. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 The jury won’t be able to really feel disgust at your habit of eating your murder victims, because, hey, who doesn’t love deep-fried food on a stick? Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 The rest of the year will seem to fly right by, along with a few hundred others, after you’re frozen in a giant block of ice. Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Despite the efforts of literally hundreds of singers to tell you “let’s go,” you have yet to actually go. Gemini May 22 – June 21 You’ll come face-to-face with many of life’s mysteries next week, none bigger than why the Angel of Death looks like a younger, slimmer Roy Kinnear. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You’re not usually the kind of person who cries at weddings, but this one’s of a former lover, you’re at a strange place in your life, and soot gets in your eyes when the whole church burns down with everyone inside. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 It’s sad to think that when they tell your life story, you’ll only be remembered as one of two guys whose most notable achievement was to walk into a bar. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 You and a man with no arms will be stuck in a lift for six hours, but after only eight minutes you’ll annoy him with insensitive questions about ass-wiping. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 Just when you start to think that you haven’t seen the strange men in lab coats for a while, bam, there they are in line with you at Bed, Bath, and Beyond. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 After your 17th time around as an underpaid office worker in the late20th-to-early-21st centuries, you’re really starting to become disenchanted with the whole reincarnation thing. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 Sometimes you actually hate yourself for going out and drinking until five in the morning, but most times that’s just what you tell people. MAKE AN IMPACT! ADVERTISE HERE FOR ́5=9Q!L)=H