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my brain
hurts
Sunderland fans to
have memories wiped
england
SUNDERLAND players have paid to have
fans’ memories of their recent defeats, most
notably their 8 - 0 thrashing by Southampton,
surgically deleted.
Sunderland community officer Tom Booker
said: “The players thought the least they
could do was offer those fans pioneering brain
surgery.
“The travelling supporters accepted gratefully.
Very few seemed worried about the potential
damage to their long-term neural functioning,
although some were concerned they might
forget that song about Lee Cattermole.
“We considered replacing the memory of
the 8-0 loss with a victory of some kind, but
doctors told us that the procedure can only
do so much.”
Some fans opted to wait until after last
weekend’s home match against Arsenal, as
Above: Vito Mannone - even his
mafia contacts can’t help him now
they were expecting an even more convinging
trouncing, but were clearly unaware of the
Gunner’s ineptitude in front of goal - one
who had the successful operation though was
Nathan Muir, who said: “People keep talking
about the Southampton game, but we haven’t
even played Southampton.
“Although I do keep having these weird
nightmares about a hapless Vito Mannone
repeatedly picking the ball out of a net while
southerners hoot in derision at me.
“I also seem to have forgotten my name and
where I live. But I do know this great song
about Lee Cattermole.”
Sunderland manager
Gus Poyet has
apparently this week opted to have the same
operation, although with the proviso that he is
able to remember how useless Vito Mannone
is, so that he no longer feels the urge to pick
him, assuming he is still in his job.
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