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s&S
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Curries from only 90 baht
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Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19
You’ll be saddened when it turns
out that all those people who only like
you for your money turn out not to be very
good friends.
Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18
Old promises come due this week
when you’re reminded of your pledge
to get a real job just as soon as the
Portuguese prime minister retires.
Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20
You’ll continue to spend your days
covered in feathers and bird shit, proving
that being dressed by birds every morning
isn’t all it’s cracked up to be.
Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20
You’re not the kind of person who
can wear those stylish strappy heels,
mostly because you’re too stupid to figure
out how shoes go on.
Taurus Apr 21 – May 21
Love, wisdom, and luck are all
strong in your zodiac sign this week,
providing further proof that you are not
your zodiac sign.
Gemini May 22 – June 21
The bellboy will be a little
intimidated by all your luggage, but,
frankly, a single suitcase nuke won’t do
the job on a city that size.
Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22
You’ll become embroiled in a
vicious conflict between those who feel
Queens of the Stone Age are overrated
and those who want control of the
cocaine trade on the Eastern Seaboard.
Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22
You’re starting to believe that your
neighbour is trying to hide something
from you with all those clothes she insists
on wearing.
Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22
The stars have nothing to say to
you this week, as they’re trying to work
on their own future for once, if you don’t
mind.
Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23
Spice things up in the bedroom
this week by inviting someone to go in
there with you for some intercourse.
Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21
You’ll have strange dreams in
which a bearded hippie in a long robe
urges you to cast off your burdens and
join him at the right hand of his father,
but it’s probably nothing.
Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21
Next week will be a joyful
whirlwind of magic, laughter, and
romance, so it’s too bad you’re going to
miss the whole thing.
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