AWOL 2014 Issue 300 19th September | Page 24

Visit www.awolonline.net you take the low road... glasgow Football fans confused by choice scotland Confusion reigned this week in Glasgow as supporters of arch rivals Glasgow Celtic and Glasgow Rangers discovered that they might have to vote the same way as the other side in the Scottish Independence poll that took place on Thursday, Traditionally the fans of the sides would choose the exact opposite of whatever their auld enemies chose, so for instance if the Rangers fans chose to drink Tennants Super, then the Celtic fans would only drink Tennants Extra. Other examples of the fierce rivalry are the nicknames the two sets of fans will call themselves, with Rangers supporters opting for ‘Jock’ and Celtic fans being the polar opposite and choosing ‘Jocky’. However the voting to decide whether Scotland becomes an independent country has been a traumatic experience for the fans, as the Jocks discover that they will end up voting in alignment with the Jockys. Left: These two fans were spotted running around Pollock Coutry Park singing Proclaimers songs, clearly sent totally doolally by the impossible choice they had to make. One Rangers fan, who asked to remain anonymous, so we will call him Jock, said, “Ah jist dornt ken whit tae dae - Ah hae gain against th’ selic fans aw mah life.” Meanwhile a Celtic fan we spoke to, who wanted to reveal his full name, address, phone number and inside leg measurement when he found out that the Rangers fan wanted to be anonymous, but who we will call Jocky to avoid confusion, said, “Those gers fans ur a boorichie ay religioos fanatics - hoo can Ah vote th’ sam way as them?” (at least thats what we think he said). At press time the result of the poll was not known but there have been widespread reports of Old Firm fans wandering around polling stations in a state of bewilderment, talking to themselves before heading off for a deep fried Mars Bar without voting. 24 Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds