AWOL 2014 Issue 300 19th September | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern Railway Tavern Ten Things To Ponder... #10 Life is sexually transmitted. PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term #9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one can die #8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. #7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you for weeks. #6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you shove them down the stairs. #5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in the hospital dying of nothing #4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays no attention to criticism. #3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred pounds, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty pence??? #2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird. Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make it normal. #1 Don’t worry about old age - it doesn’t last that long. My goldfish died... Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked, “What are you up to there, Nancy?” “My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.” The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole for a goldfish, isn’t it?” Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied, “That’s because he’s inside your bloody cat.” female dentist The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give the man a shot of Novocain. “No way! No needles. I hate needles” the patient said.. The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the man objects.. “I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas mask on, suffocates me!” The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection to taking a pill. “No objection,” the patient says. “’I’m fine with pills.” The dentist then returns and says, “Here’s a Viagra.” The patient says, “Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer!” “It doesn’t” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth out” 13 Contacting AWOL Telephone: Facebook: Twitter: Office: 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) AWOLexpat awolhuahin 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan Advertising: [email protected] Classifieds: [email protected] Submissions: [email protected] Enquiries: [email protected] Property: [email protected] Website: www.awolonline.net Join the AWOL forum