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Ten Things To Ponder...
#10 Life is sexually transmitted.
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Motorbikes for Rent
Daily, weekly or long term
#9 Good health is merely the slowest rate at which one
can die
#8 Men have two emotions: Hungry and Horny. If you see
him without an erection, make him a sandwich.
#7 Give a person a fish and you feed them for a day; teach
a person to use the internet and they won’t bother you
for weeks.
#6 Some people are like a slinky... not really good for
anything, but you still can’t help but smile when you
shove them down the stairs.
#5 Health nuts are going to feel stupid someday, lying in
the hospital dying of nothing
#4 All of us could take a lesson from the weather. It pays
no attention to criticism.
#3 Why does a slight tax increase cost you two hundred
pounds, and a substantial tax cut saves you thirty
pence???
#2 In the 60’s, people took LSD to make the world weird.
Now the world is weird and people take Prozac to make
it normal.
#1 Don’t worry about old age - it doesn’t last that long.
My goldfish died...
Little Nancy was in the garden filling in a hole when her
neighbour peered over the fence. Interested in what the
cheeky-faced youngster was doing, he politely asked,
“What are you up to there, Nancy?”
“My goldfish died,” replied Nancy tearfully, without
looking up, “and I’ve just buried him.”
The neighbor was concerned, “That’s an awfully big hole
for a goldfish, isn’t it?”
Nancy patted down the last heap of earth then replied,
“That’s because he’s inside your bloody cat.”
female dentist
The female dentist pulls out a numbing needle to give
the man a shot of Novocain.
“No way! No needles. I hate needles” the patient said..
The dentist starts to hook up the nitrous oxide and the
man objects..
“I can’t do the gas thing. The thought of having the gas
mask on, suffocates me!”
The dentist then asks the patient if he has any objection
to taking a pill.
“No objection,” the patient says. “’I’m fine with pills.”
The dentist then returns and says, “Here’s a Viagra.”
The patient says, “Wow! I didn’t know Viagra worked as
a pain killer!”
“It doesn’t” said the dentist, “but it’s going to give you
something to hold on to when I pull your tooth out”
13
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