AWOL 2014 Issue 299 12th September | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern scottish independence Thai Immigration have advised that in the event of a breakup of the Union, Scottish nationals holding British passports will have one week to exit Thailand to return to Scotland and obtain a Scottish passport with a new Thai visa In a related story, the Scottish Passport Office have advised that they expect to be inundated with passport applications so you should allow 3 months to receive your new Scottish passport. In a further story, the Scottish Inland Revenue have said that non resident Scots remaining in Scotland for more than one month in any calendar year will be liable to tax on all their savings, properties and pensions. And finally, legislation passing through the Houses of Parliament to ban the wearing of burkhas in public in England will be modified to ban the wearing of kilts too. If Scotland gets independence what will the Duke of Edinburgh be called? “The Prince formally known as”? Of course, the real fear for Alex Salmond is that if he takes a battering in the referendum on the 18th then the Scots will probably eat him... Sending David Cameron, Nick Clegg and Ed Miliband to convince Scotland to vote no in the referendum is a bit like asking Oscar Pistorius to kick a door down with his blades on... Finally, something the UK has learned from their special relationship with America. If Scotland goes independent they can just invade them and take the oil. Contacting AWOL Telephone: Facebook: Twitter: Office: 081 649 8361 (Eng) or 081 614 8728 (Thai) AWOLexpat awolhuahin 136/229 Emerald Hill, Soi 6, Borfai, Hua Hin, 77110, Prachuap Kiri Khan Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term prayer rooms I never understood why airports had prayer rooms. Then I found out I’d be flying with Malaysia Airlines on September 11th. terror alert ISIS have apparently threatened Christmas attacks in the U.K. Foreign Secretary William Hague immediately sprang into action, telling the terrorists, “You can’t call them Christmas attacks. You have to call them Holiday attacks.” boris johnson My wife told me that she would leave the UK for good if Boris Johnson were ever to become Prime Minister. I start my new job as head of his campaign team tomorrow. nude celebrities The man who released nude photos of celebrities from the cloud last week has admittied he’s on the run from the authorities. But apparently he’s been given asylum by a shadowy group ... known only as “Blokes”. 13 Advertising: [email protected] Classifieds: [email protected] Submissions: [email protected] Enquiries: [email protected] Property: [email protected] Website: www.awolonline.net Join the AWOL forum