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David moyes hospitalised following prolonged laughing fit
glasgow, scotland
Former Manchester United Scotsman,
David Moyes, is reportedly under
intensive care in a Glasgow hospital after
a prolonged fit of laughing left his life in
serious danger.
Glasgow Royal Infirmary confirmed a
51-year-old man was admitted at around
10pm on Saturday evening suffering with
breathing complications.
“We received an emergency call at around
9.30pm reporting a man rolling around
in convulsions of laughter which were
preventing him from breathing properly,”
a hospital source told us.
“A witness stated that the symptoms
had started at approximately Saturday
afternoon last week and had gotten
progressively worse until reaching a
critical point last night.”
“We understand the man had been
Left: David Moyes; left fighting for life after he
split his sides.
undertaking his usual routine of sitting
down to watch the televised football
coverage, and at this stage we believe this
to be the cause of the debilitating fits of
laughter.”
A neighbour of Moyes, said he saw the
unemployed manager receiving CPR
in the front lawn of his garden, having
earlier been seen skipping around it
in a what appeared to be a home-made
Burnley home kit. He added that the
previous Tuesday he had also been seen
laughing uncontrollably while wearing an
MK Dons kit, and they had been keeping
an eye on him since.
The neighbour told us, “He was singing
‘We’re going Dutch, We’re going Dutch,’ to
the tune of ‘On the Ball’ by Ant and Dec.”
“It was quite a sight.”
A family friend of Moyes claimed he was
hopeful of a return to football in the near
future, eyeing a potential vacancy in the
North-West region of England.
“There’s a rumour the Man United mascot
is being relieved of his duties for failing
to inspire.”
“David is confident his current demeanor
brings a level of Bonhomie not seen at Old
Trafford for quite some time.”
“Watch this space.”
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