AWOL 2014 Issue 297 29th August | Page 24

Visit www.awolonline.net deranged Liverpool replace mentally unstable forward with mentally unstable forward liverpool, england Liverpool football club have replaced mentally unstable Luis Suarez with equally deranged Mario Balotelli, according to reports this week. With the signing of the ‘interesting’ Italian completed on Tuesday, fans have been reassured that the mere mention of the name of the club’s main centre-forward will forever have them wondering ‘Oh God what has he done now’. A club spokesperson explained, “Whether it’s biting their opponents or setting off fireworks inside their house, the role of a Liverpool forward is about more than just scoring goals.” “Our fans want to know that their leading marksman could implode at any moment. They expect it. I think that’s why Andy Carrol didn’t work out – because getting drunk and fighting just doesn’t cut it at L Y