AWOL 2014 Issue 297 29th August | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 Someday in the future, humanity will have a healthy attitude toward sexuality, but until then, you have an idea that could make you incredibly rich. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You are about to embark on a great journey across an infinite ocean of possibilities, unless of course the more cynical theories about the afterlife are correct. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Your confusion over the exact meaning of the term “elope” will become apparent this week when parts of the bodies begin to turn up in the desert. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Venus, the Herald of Love, passes into your sign this week, but it’s so creepy in there that She only takes about six minutes to get out again. Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Just keep telling yourself it’s all going to be all right until you finally get it through your head once and for all that you can’t trust anything you say. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Although it’s true you can successfully hide certain things in plain sight without anyone noticing, it turns out not to be true of a whole Girl Scout troop’s worth of corpses. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You tend to think of yourself as a big neurotic mess, but don’t sell yourself short. You’re also a big psychotic mess on top of it all. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 The stars don’t believe they actually have to say this, but just because you find a recipe that makes pancakes for 1,500 people doesn’t mean you actually have to make that many. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 You will die alone, unmourned, and unloved, but because you do it on live television, you’ll still manage to be considered a success. Libra