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deranged
League title to be awarded to most insane manager
england
THE Premier League title will be given to
the team whose manager is the biggest
lunatic, it has emerged.
Louis Van Gaal and Jose Mourinho are
among the frontrunners after it was
decided that demented managerial
antics were more entertaining than
actual football.
Bookies cited Van Gaal’s David Lynchstyle haircut, coupled with the autocratic
style of a banana republic dictator, as
making him a strong contender in the
mentally unhinged stakes.
But Jose Mourinho has been rehearsing
a few borderline-arrestable tricks of his
own in training, including jabbing the
fourth official in the backside with a fork.
Meanwhile Arsene Wenger has brought in
a slapstick expert to help him develop his
‘unzippable caterpillar anorak’ routine
and Brendan Rodgers is to communicate
exclusively in 90s-style corporate
management-speak.
Above: Arsene Wenger - is he about to turn into a butterfly?
Bookmaker Stephen Malley said: “Van
Gaal might think he has the edge but he’s
up against some tough opponents when it
comes to bizarre nonsense perpetrated by
highly paid, grown men.
“He may pull his trousers down but
there a