AWOL 2014 Issue 295 15th August | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern guide dog A blind man is standing at the corner with his guide dog waiting to cross the street, when his pooch lifts his leg and pees down the side of his nice herringbone tweed trousers. The guy immediately reaches into his jacket pocket and retrieves a doggie biscuit which he starts to offer to Fido. A businessman, who is also waiting to cross the street, observes this happening and interrupts, “Excuse me buddy, but are you aware of the fact that your dog just peed all down the leg of your pants?” “Yes, I’m trying to break him of this dreadful habit”, replies the blind man. “Well, it’s none of my business,” says the onlooker, “but you’re not going to teach him much by rewarding him with a biscuit!” To which the blind fellow chuckles, “Oh I’m not rewarding him. I’m just trying to find his head so I can kick his ass!” doctor’s office A couple, age 67, went to the doctor’s office. The doctor asked, “What can I do for you?” The man said, “Will you watch us have sexual intercourse?” The doctor looked puzzled, but agreed. When the couple finished, the doctor said, “There is nothing wrong with the way you have intercourse.” And he then charged them $32.00. This happened several weeks in a row. The couple would make an appointment, have intercourse, pay the doctor and leave. Finally the doctor asked, “Just what exactly are you trying to find out?” The old man said, “We’re not trying to find out anything. She is married and we can’t go to her house. I am married Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term and we can’t go to my house. The Holiday Inn charges $60.00 and the Hilton charges $75.00. We do it here for $32.00, and I get back $28.00 from Medicare for a visit to the doctor’s office.” half sister One Sunday morning Joe burst into the living room and said, “Dad, Mom, I have some great news for you! I am getting married to the most beautiful girl in town. She lives a block away and her name is Susan.” After dinner, Joe’s dad took him aside, “Son, I have to talk with you. Your mother and I have been married 30 years. She’s a wonderful wife but she has never offered much excitement in the bedroom, so I used to fool around with women a lot. Susan is actually your half-sister, and I’m afraid you can’t marry her.” Joe was heart-broken. After eight months he eventually started dating girls again. A year later he came home and very proudly announced, “Dianne said yes! We are getting married in June.” Again his father insisted on another private conversation and broke the sad news. “Dianne is your half-sister too, Joe, I am very sorry about this.” Joe was furious! He finally decided to go to his mother with the news. “Dad has done so much harm. I guess I am never going to get married”, he complained. “Every time I fall in love, Dad tells me the girl is my half-sister.” His mother just shook her head. “Don’t pay any attention to what he says, dear. He’s not really your father.” TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab LIVE Sports on BIG SCREEN Projector Open 4pm till late Happy Hour Prices to 7pm Draft Cider, Beer Laos, Thai & Western Food Play pool on our 8’ and 9’ Brunswick tables Tuesday 2nd September, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Find us almost opposite Smor Resort, if you hit the one way section