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losing his
bottle
Van Gaal slates
Ferguson’s wine cellar
manchester, england
MANCHESTER United’s new boss Louis
van Gaal has slammed the quality of the
booze left behind by Sir Alex Ferguson.
On his first day in the job, former Holland
boss van Gaal inspected the magnums,
jennies and jeroboams assembled by
Ferguson over 27 years, and declared
them woefully substandard.
Van Gaal said: “There’s a few big-name
labels here that simply aren’t pulling
their weight.
“I don’t care if it’s a Chateauneuf-du-Pape
or a Slovenian retsina, if its mouthfeel
isn’t velvety it’s going straight down the
sink.”
The Butthead lookalike went on to
announce that the days of three-for-atenner deals from Morrisons were over,
also declaring a moratorium on any
Above: Van Gaal (left) has repeatedly refarted
suggestions that he resembles Butthead
(right)...heh heh they misspelt refuted heh heh
wine that used exclamation marks in the
tasting notes or had a cartoon animal on
the label.
Van Gaal’s comments will fuel suspicions
that Ferguson allowed the quality of
One Stop Service
United’s wines to decline in his final
seasons in charge.
Rumours have also abounded that the
long-serving coach secretly emptied
several prize bottles of rioja before his
departure, replacing them with his own
blood, which has a slightly lower alcohol
content.
Man United fan Tom Logan said: “I want
us to buy loads of English wines even
though they cost a fortune and look
embarrassing when you put them next to
proper European stuff.”
Van Gaal also dismissed the merits of the
single bottle left behind by David Moyes,
a bottle of cava put on ice in August last
year and never opened.
Construction
P. S.
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