AWOL 2014 Issue 289 4th July | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern The Prince and the Frog A prince goes to see his doctor because his manhood is a massive 60 inches long. “It’s ruining my life complained the prince. “Is there anything you can do?” “I’m sorry, there isn’t,” said the doctor, “but I think I have an answer to your problem. I’ve heard there’s a deep pond in the middle of The Magical Forest. When you find it, you will see a frog sitting on a lily pad. You must ask it to marry you and when it says no, your manhood will shorten by 10 inches.” The prince sets out for the forest and sure enough, there’s a frog sitting on the lily pad. “Hey frog,” he shouts, “will you marry me?” “No,” replies the frog and the prince’s appendage shrinks by 10 inches. The prince is overcome with happiness. Two more times he asks the frog to marry him and it shrinks another 20 inches. Wonderful, thinks the prince, just once more and it’ll be perfect. “Hey froggy, will you marry me?” By this time the frog is so annoyed with all the pestering that he shouts back “I’m fed up with telling you, no, no and no again!” Dress Code Failure “I’m sorry you can’t come in here, you have to wear a tie” said the bouncer at the night-club. The man goes back to his car but can only find a set of jump leads. He slings them round his neck and walks back to the club. “Will this do?” he asks. “OK, but don’t start anything.” Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term VIZ Top Tips DON’T waste money on expensive ipods. Simply think of your favourite tune and hum it. If you want to “switch tracks”, simply think of another song you like and hum that instead. CINEMA goers: Please have consideration for pirate DVD viewers by having a pee before the film starts. RAPPERS: Avoid having to say ‘know what I’m sayin’ all the time by actually speaking clearly in the first place. DON’T waste money on expensive paper shredders to avoid having your identity stolen. Simply place a few dog turds in the bin bags along with your old bank statements. WORRIED that your teeth will be stained after a heavy night drinking red wine? Simply drink a bottle of white wine before going to bed to remove the stains. SOLDIERS: Invest in a digital camera to avoid all that court martial tomfoolery after a trip to Truprint. MURDERERS: Need to dispose of a body? Simply parcel it up and post it to yourself via Hua Hin Post Office. You will never see it again. TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab LIVE Sports on BIG SCREEN Projector Draft Cider, Beer Laos, Thai & Western Food Monday 14th July, 19:30pm - Monthly 10-Man Brunswick 9 Ball Competition Tuesday 5th August, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Open 4pm till late - Every Tuesday is Fajitas Night, 200 Baht - Every Friday is Curry Night, 200 Baht Happy Hour Prices to 7pm Find us almost opposite Smor Resort, if you hit the one way section you have gone too far www.tkroadhouse.com Call Pla: 082 003 8702 Join the AWOL forum 13