AWOL 2014 Issue 288 27th June | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern Mystery Voices Bill is sitting alone at a bar enjoying a quiet drink, when he hears a little, high-pitched voice say “Oh, you’re quite amazing, you’re really something special.” Bill wheels round to see where the voice is coming from, but except for him and the bartender the bar is completely empty. A little un-nerved at the experience he decides he must have been day-dreaming, so decides to occupy his idle mind with a little flutter on the fruit machine in the corner. He puts his money in the slot and spins the reels. Each of the reels clicks to a halt – oranges, cherries, bananas – no win. Immediately he loses he hears a rough booming voice – “What a loser! You’ll never win! And you’re ugly to boot!.” Again Bill wheels round to locate the source of the voice, but the bar is still empty except for him and the bartender. He decides that the bartender must be playing tricks, so decides to challenge him – “Hey Buddy! What’s your game with the voices?.” “I’m sorry sir” replies the bartender “I don’t know what you mean, I haven’t spoken a word.” “Don’t play tricks with me!” storms Bill “One minute you’re saying nice stuff about me, then shouting abuse!.” “Ah yes” replies the bartender “that will be the peanuts and the fruit machine again – they can’t help themselves I’m afraid.” “What on earth are you talking about” demands Bill. “Well sir – the peanuts on the bar are complimentary, and the fruit machine in the corner is out of order.” Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term Lucky Statues In a park stood two statues, one female and the other male. These two statues faced each other for many years. Early one morning an angel appeared before the statues and said, “Since the two of you have been exemplary statues and have brought enjoyment to many people, I am giving you your greatest wish. I hereby give you the gift of life. You have 30 minutes to do whatever you desire.” With that command, the statues came to life. The two statues smiled at each other, ran toward some nearby woods, and dove behind a couple of bushes. The angel smiled to himself as he listened to the two statues giggling, bushes rustling and twigs snapping. After fifteen minutes, the two statues emerged from the bushes, satisfied and smiling. Puzzled, the angel looked at his watch and asked the statues, “You still have fifteen minutes. Would you like to continue?” The male statue looked at the female and asked, “Do you want to do it again?” Smiling, the female statue said, “Sure. But this time YOU hold the pigeon down and I’LL poo on its head.” 13 TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab LIVE Sports on BIG SCREEN Projector Darts Players wanted – [email protected] Monday 14th July, 19:30pm - Monthly 10-Man Brunswick 9 Ball Competition Tuesday 1st July, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Open 4pm till late - Every Tuesday is Fajitas Night, 200 Baht - Every Friday is Curry Night, 200 Baht Happy Hour Prices to 7pm Find us almost opposite Smor Resort, if you hit the one way section you have gone too far www.tkroadhouse.com Call Pla: 082 003 8702 Join the AWOL forum