AWOL 2014 Issue 287 20th June | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 This will be a good week to renew the bonds of friendship, especially the ones on the nurse you keep chained to the basement water heater. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 While it’s true that only God can judge you, it also won’t take Him more than a couple seconds. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Your biggest mistake wasn’t assuming there was some kind of secret to life. It was assuming that it was the kind of secret that would make your life better. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Love has been compared to many, many things, but thanks to your unique outsider’s perspective, you’ll be the first to spot its uncanny resemblance to the international bauxite market. Contacting AWOL Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Although it’s true that violence never solves anything, it turns out it’s just fine for a quick temporary fix in many situations. Gemini May 22 – June 21 They say that it’s not how well the bear dances that’s impressive, but that the bear can dance at all, which is kind of insulting considering the number of hours you spent teaching it. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You’ll come to in a New Orleans brothel between a dead politician’s daughter and a duffel bag full of cash, but unfortunately it’s all easily explained and is cleared up within minutes. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 Okay, the stars realize that last week’s prediction of increasingly lower temperatures may not have been that impressive, but this week’s incubus invasion should make up for it. Advertising: [email protected] Classifieds: [email protected] Submissions: s Չ