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blatter’s
alive!
2026 Mongo World Cup
triggers controversy
mingo city, mongo
FIFA has promised an investigation into
the successful 2026 World Cup bid by the
planet Mongo.
Work on the stadia has been plagued
with rumours that unions have been
suppressed, worker wages withheld and
the entire world is enslaved by the threat
of an enormous death ray.
Ruler Ming The Merciless said: “Our
bid was the most competitive and we’re
confident that the Hawkmen will be
utterly crushed before the opening
ceremony.
“I think the last thing anyone wants is
Brian Blessed shouting abuse at the
dancers and crapping on Pele from a
height of 300 feet.”
Reporter Dale Arden has managed to gain
access to footage of Sepp Blatter having
Above: Prince Vultan (Brian Blessed) spots an
opportunity to give Sepp Blatter a wedgie.
One Stop Service
dinner with The Merciless in his palatial
Magnetic Mountains residence while
scantily-clad green women cavorted for
their pleasure.
Documents also show that several highranking FIFA officials bought land in
the uninhabitable Dire Marsh region
before Mongo was named as host. They
have since made massive profits as
the lands are drained to make way for
infrastructure and by selling its native
lizard men as meat.
FIFA have appointed independent
investigator and former footballer Flash
Gordon to investigate the situation on
Mongo, mostly with his shirt off.
Arden said: “I love Flash but he only has
fourteen hours to gather enough evidence
to warrant a second vote.”
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