AWOL 2014 Issue 285 6th June | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 You thought there was nothing in life that the music of Al Green couldn’t fix, but then you found out about reactor meltdowns, crop failure, and cardiac embolisms. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You will soon get a nicer job selling higher-quality sweatpants to a somewhat better class of people. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 This will be a week of surprise after surprise, which will become tiresome after a few hours, terrifying after a few days, and unspeakable after that. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Applying tactics found in classic American folktales to your problems seemed like a good idea, but it turns out collection agencies have gotten wise to the old Tar Baby trick. Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 You’ll try to set the world afire with the unbridled passion of your incandescent prose, but fail so badly you’re hailed as the next John Updike. Gemini May 22 – June 21 In the end, you won’t wish you’d done anything differently; you’ll just wish you hadn’t had to do anything. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You thought having a cat would be fun, but it’s been 10 days and it hasn’t even gotten itself anything to eat yet. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 Love ends, sometimes bit by bit, sometimes suddenly, but it does end. That said, it’s unusual for it to jump off a bridge like that. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Mercury rising in your sign indicates that things are getting hotter, as the mercury has expanded, causing it to rise up the thermometer. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 Don’t let people tell you that you can’t be anything you want in life. Surgical techniques and gene-grafting will soon allow anyone to assume giraffe form. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 Somehow you always thou