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Richard Scudamore challenges all women to an arm-wrestle
london, england
full hour.’
With what is being seen as a vain attempt
To a packed audience of female sports
to garner support for his derogatory
journalists, a spokesman for the Premier
references to ‘female irrationality’, the
League slowly and loudly explained the
Premier League’s chief executive has
offside rule and added: ‘Of course women
promised to prove his gender’s superiority
have a place in football. Many of our top
through a series of ‘herculean tasks’. The
footballers are married to women. If you
beleaguered football boss is said to have
asked the average fan who they’d prefer
thrown down the gauntlet to all women
to pack their lunch, I know who they’d
to try and beat him at ‘spitting’, ‘trapping
say.’
spiders’ and ‘weeing standing up.’
The chief executive reeled off a list of
Mr Scudamore insisted his comments
his achievements, including less time
were not ‘sexist’ if you took into
wasted on phone conversations, packing
consideration his ability to parallel park,
and ‘waxing’. He then, in a commanding
dominate the TV remote control and
manner, deftly opened a jar of pickled
‘lift stuff’. Football Association board
eggs with one hand and then headed
member Heather Rabbatts accused
to the bathroom without the aid of a
the Premier League of having a ‘closed Above: There have been widespread rumours
support group. His spokesman said: ‘One
culture of sexism’ but was forced to admit
that the Viz character Sid The Sexist is
day I’m sure we’ll see a woman playing
Scudamore was able to assemble flat pack
completely based on the chief executive of
in the Premiership on equal terms with a
furniture ‘in a matter of minutes’, ‘recite
the Premier League, Richard Scudamore,
man…just for 20% less pay.’
something that he strongly disagrees with
the whole of Star Wars’ and ‘burp for a
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