AWOL 2014 Issue 283 23rd May | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern EFFICIENCY EXPERT The efficiency expert concluded his lecture with a note of caution. ‘’You don’t want to try these techniques at home.’’ ‘’Why not?’’ asked someone from the back of the audience. ‘’I watched my wife’s routine at breakfast for years,’’ the expert explained. ‘’She made lots of trips to the refrigerator, stove, table and cabinets, often carrying just a single item at a time. ‘Hon,’ I suggested, ‘Why don’t you try carrying several things at once?’’’ The voice from the back asked, ‘’Did it save time?’’ The expert replied, ‘’Actually, yes. It used to take her 20 minutes to get breakfast ready. Now I do it in seven.’’’ SNOW PARKING Harry and Martha drank their coffee as they listened to the morning weather report. “There will be three to five inches of snow today. You must park your cars on the odd-numbered side of the street.” Harry got up from his coffee to move the car. Two days later, they sat down with their cup of coffee and listened the weather forecast. “There will be two to four inches of snow today. You must park your cars on the even-numbered side of the street.” Harry got up from his coffee to move the car. Three days later, they tuned in to the weather report. “There will be six to eight inches of snow today. You must park your cars on the... .” The power went off. He said to Martha, “What am I going to do now?” Martha said, “Just leave the car in the garage.” Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term SISTER ANNE’S REWARD Sitting by the window in her convent, Sister Anne noticed a shabbily dressed stranger leaning against a lamppost below. Quickly she wrote, “Don’t despair, Sister Anne” on a piece of paper, wrapped a $10 bill in it and dropped it out the window. The stranger picked it up and, with a puzzled expression and a tip of his hat, went off down the street. The next day Sister Anne was told that a man was at the door, insisting on seeing her. She went down and found the stranger waiting. Without a word, he handed her a roll of bills. “What’s this?” she asked. “That’s the $60 bucks you won. Don’t Despair paid five to one!” HONEYMOON An elderly couple decided to celebrate their 50th anniversary in the same hotel and city where they spent their honeymoon. Before the act, he excused himself and went to loo and after a while came out laughing loudly. ‘’On our first night,” the woman said, “you did the same thing and came out laughing. At the time, I was too embarrassed to ask what you were laughing about. Can you explain?” ‘’On that night while urinating, I made the ceiling wet. Today my shoes are wet.” 13 TK Roadhouse - Khao Takiab Thai Food, Western Food, Draught Cider, Beer Laos LIVE SPORTS on our new Big Screen Projector & LCD TV’s Tuesday 3rd June, 19:30pm - Monthly Quiz Night with Quizmaster Steve Monday 16th June, 19:30pm - Monthly 10-Man Brunswick 9 Ball Competition Open 4pm till late - Every Tuesday is Fajitas Night, 200 Baht - Every Friday is Curry Night, 200 Baht Happy Hour Prices to 7pm Find us almost opposite Smar Resort, if you hit the one way section you have gone too far Call Pla: 082 003 8702 www.tkroadhouse.com Join the AWOL forum