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hodgson’s
choice
scapegoat’ for england’s world cup elimination already chosen
london, england
ROY Hodgson has already decided who is to
blame for England’s World Cup exit.
With just six weeks to go before the
tournament, the 66-year old has declared that
he has a clear idea of who will be taking the
flak for England’s limp elimination in Brazil.
“Everybody needs to know their role in the
squad, from leaking information to the press,
or forming a disruptive dressing-room clique,
to giving away a penalty against Costa Rica.
“We’ve got lucky in the past by coming up with
last-minute hate figures like Chris Waddle and
David Beckham, but this time we’re leaving
nothing to chance.”
Hodgson’s choice is still under wraps, but
reliable former scapegoat Emile Heskey is
being touted for a recall.
Hodgson said: “The biggest challenge is
where don’t I point the finger. There’s so
Left: Bobby Robson was fortunate to have
Chris Waddle as a natural born ccapegoat,
shown here after his shocking penalty miss
in the 1990 World Cup semi final having
the ultimate ignominy of being consoled by
the opposing captain, Lothar Matthäus from
Germany.
many players I can count on to let me down,
whether through incompetence, naivety, or
our old-fashioned English blend of arrogance
and fear, that picking just one scapegoat
won’t be easy. It’s important we don’t spread
the blame, though. No-one wants to burn two
effigies, and my main task is to make sure the
scapegoat isn’t me.”
Bookmakers have already installed Joe Hart
One Stop Service
as the odds on favourite, with history strongly
suggesting that the goalkeeper is an easy
target, while the past also suggests that Wayne
Rooney will not even figure in the betting,
despite regular woeful perfirmances in an
England shirt. Many clever punters though
are putting their money on dodgy foreign food
giving the entire squad the trots as the most
likely outcome to explain England going over
half a century without winning the World Cup.
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