AWOL 2014 Issue 280 2nd May | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 It turns out that it’s neither the size of the wave nor the motion of the ocean that really matters, but the length and girth of your member. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 You’ll realize too late that there’s more to life than eating instant mashed potatoes and drinking root beer while the kiddie pool you’re laying in slowly fills up with your excrement. Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 You’ll learn that there are some things that money can’t buy. For instance, with your record, you’re forbidden from approaching close enough to purchase girl scout cookies. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 You will be torn between two equally worthy suitors, one who is kind, selfless, outgoing, supportive, and loving, and one who is attractive. Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 While it is true that all-knowing God sees every sparrow that falls, He finds it a lot more amusing to watch you tumble down the stairs a couple times a week. Gemini May 22 – June 21 They say that knowing is half the battle, but they never talk about how the other half is tactical deployment and careful use of grenades. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 Your self-destructive behaviour is beginning to get out of control, which is mostly notable due to how long you were able to control your behaviour while destroying yourself. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 You’ll be pleased to find that science has long since achieved your dream of creating a smaller, cuddlier, domesticated version of the tiger. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Scientists will announce the discovery of sunspots spelling out your name this week just to see if they can get you to stare at the sun all day. Libra Sep 23 – Oct 23 The natives will shrink in terror when you demonstrate your lighter, as even they know that smoking is not at all good for you. Scorpio Oct 24 – Nov 21 Losing weight will improve your performance in all areas of life, but bolting on new shock absorbers is painful and counterproductive. Sagittarius Nov 22 – Dec 21 You’ll learn too late that while it may be easy and even justifiable to ridicule the French, they take their full-contact judo very seriously. THE AWOL FORUM www.awolonline.net/forum Games, discussions, jokes, videos, information, sports, local and international topics and more Join up, log in and tell us what you think! Register and log in with Facebook and Twitter or create a unique AWOL account free Open 2 close 10 pm Happy Hour 2 to 5 pm Best Margaritas In Town Authentic American BBQ & Tex Mex Known for Our Steaks and Chops Thai Food, Burgers & Sandwiches 250/133 Soi 90 Best Chili in Town Hua Hin Check our Website for Monthly and www.terrace90.com Our Black Boards for Daily Specials e mail [email protected] Sunday Is Steak/Chops Promotio