AWOL 2014 Issue 278 18th April | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern near death A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God she asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.” Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair colour and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it. After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing the street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the ambulance?” God replied: “ I didn’t recognize you.” Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term unstable During his trial, Oscar Pistorius has appeared somewhat unstable. But a couple of beer mats have done the trick. new phone Bought a new phone yesterday, made in Malaysia, put it in flight mode and now I can’t find the bloody thing. peaches geldof Apparently, a carton of cream was found next to Peaches, prompting the police to believe that it is possible that she topped herself. BAR FOR SALE Good Price Tel. 080 279 0835 Large comfortable bar on Soi Selekam 80 sq.m outdoor covered terrace Open 2pm ‘til Late every day 8’ Pool Table Three Big Screen TVs showing Live Sports including English Premier League football Join the AWOL forum 13