AWOL 2014 Issue 278 18th April | Page 11

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week s&S Soi 94 Indian restaurant Curries from only 75 baht Eat in or Takeaway 081 455 5298 Capricorn Dec 22 - Jan 19 Love magick is strong in Taurus this week, leading those lucky enough to be born under that sign far, far away from you. Aquarius Jan 20 – Feb 18 Your death will be painful, but it will give a notorious femme fatale a chance to say “I’m afraid I’ve always had a rather…sharp tongue.” Pisces Feb 19 – Mar 20 Your life will soon lose all direction, which considering how it has been going, should come as a vast relief. Aries Mar 21 – Apr 20 Venus is in retrograde in your sign this week, which you’d think would mean problems in your love life but actually indicate imminent botulism. Interesting, isn’t it? Taurus Apr 21 – May 21 Avoid making decisions based on ambiguous advice from questionable sources this week, even if she was in labour with you for 38 hours. Gemini May 22 – June 21 Change will come to your neighbourhood when you annoy an air traffic controller who knows your home address the same day his ex boards a 747 to Maui. Cancer Jun 22 – Jul 22 You’ve never been the sort of person who lets all kinds of supposed “signs” tell you how you should drive your car. Leo Jul 23 – Aug 22 You’re starting to think that maybe the funny nose and glasses won’t actually be enough to hide you when Jesus returns in all his glory. Virgo Aug 23 – Sep 22 Sometimes it feels as if your life’s long, empty hours are all beginning to blur together, but take heart. There really aren’t very many left. Libra Sep