AWOL 2014 Issue 273 7th March | Page 13

Advertise here from only 40 baht per week Send your jokes to submissions@ awolonline.net and get your name in print! Brought to you by The Railway Tavern text message A man received the following text from his neighbour: “I am so sorry Bob. I’ve been riddled with guilt and I have to confess. I have been tapping your wife, day and night when you’re not around. In fact, more than you. I’m not getting any at home, but that’s no excuse. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apology with my promise that it won’t happen again.” Bob, anguished and betrayed, went into his bedroom, grabbed his gun, and without a word, shot his wife and killed her. A few moments later, a second text came in: Damn autocorrect. I meant “wifi”, not “wife”. home cooking As I put steak, homemade chips and some coleslaw down on the table in front of my wife last night she looked at me with a big smile. “Are you feeling ok?” she giggled, “I’ve got to text the girls and tell them about this!” Railway Tavern PUB & CAFE HUA HIN SOI 88 085 429 0378 Motorbikes for Rent Daily, weekly or long term “Hurry up about it then,” I said, “You’re sitting in my seat.” Gunpowder Plot? A tough old sheep farmer from Scotland gave some good advice to his granddaughter. He told her that the secret to a long life was to sprinkle a pinch of gunpowder onto her porridge every morning. The granddaughter followed this dictum religiously until her death at the venerable age of 103. She left behind 14 children, 30 grandchildren, 45 great grandchildren, 25 great great grandchildren and.......................... a forty foot hole where the crematorium used to be. RELAX AND WATCH THE WORLD GO BY AT Tel. 080 279 0835 Large comfortable bar on Soi Selekam 80 sq.m outdoor covered terrace Open 2pm ‘til Late every day 8’ Pool Table Three Big Screen TVs showing Live Sports including English Premier League football Join the AWOL forum 13