AWOL 2014 Issue 270 14th February | Page 28

Visit www.awolonline.net down, down, deeper and down Gravity wins at Sochi sochi, russia EARTH’S gravitational field has been declared Overall Winner at the Winter Olympics. Scientists analysing events at Sochi said they were basically people being pulled downwards by the natural forces of gravity. Dr Mary Fisher said: “Skiing, snowboarding, bobsleigh – all just variations on falling. “In most Winter Olympics sports the human participants could be replaced with boulders or broken refrigerators – in fact anything heavy. “The only fair conclusion was to recognise the achievement of gravity rather than the toothsome rich buffoons who do snow-based sport.” Accepting handfuls of gold medals on behalf of gravity, Professor Henry Brubaker of the Institute for Studies said: “Without gravity Above: Gravity wins again nothing would go downhill, skiers would just stand there, stationary and feebly waving, until the spectators filtered off home. “Thanks to this mighty ‘natural magnet’ we One Stop Service can enjoy the Winter Olympics, or at least the only good bit which is seeing snowboarders packed onto an air ambulance with a bit of femur poking out of their salopettes.” Construction P. S. 28 House Sales • • Legal Services Land Sales • • Visas Projects • • Work permits Permits etc.. • • Insurance GROUP Tel./Fax: 032 472589 psconsultingchaam@gmail.com • Translations 46 Netelon Road, Cha Am • Company Registrations • Travel services • Copy/Print/Fax etc Mon - Sat. 9am to 6pm 032 890218 psonestopchaam@gmail.com 339/52 Ruamchit Road (Beach Rd.) Near Soi 5, Cha Am See also our advert on page 5 Sell it fast with AWOL Classifieds