“ Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. They are trying to make it through their own journey, carrying the weight of their personal hurts and sorrows”
A Slice of Prison Life
Reflections on 2013
“ Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. They are trying to make it through their own journey, carrying the weight of their personal hurts and sorrows”
For years, I believed I wasn ' t worthy of love, acceptance and happiness. I ' m in prison which technically means I ' ve been expelled out of society and, in my mind, who would want to be associated with anyone that can ' t act properly in society?
Well, a huge area I am proud of is that I have since educated myself and became further spiritually liberated which assisted me in this personal outlook I had of myself and how I fit into the world. I put things into perspective and I realize that I have made huge mistakes, but they do not define who I am as a person. This was a relief. For I thought for years that my mistakes defined me because the consequence of that mistake caused me to be a prisoner( A role I could not change).
I have also increased my level of service to my community. Although for years I have been very active in here, facilitating groups, tutoring others, counseling, and entertaining, my involvement with the Beyond Incarceration Program has allowed me to contribute to the local community via video conferences with at risk high school students. Now that makes me feel like I truly am giving back!
A revelation of this sort came to me in 2013. I came to realize that I was doing myself a disservice if I took everything others did or said personal, even when directed toward me. I am now aware that the actions, behavior, and attitudes of others are strictly a depiction of their own reality and may not have anything to do with me. This was hard to grasp but, once I did, I was enlightened and greatly relieved. Everyone is doing the best they can with what they know. They are trying to make it through their own journey, carrying the weight of their personal hurts and sorrows. When I meet an aggressive, belligerent person, I no longer need to respond in a defensive matter( which most of us do). Instead, I embrace their state of mind, knowing they are hurting and covering up that pain with anger( a secondary emotion which falsely represents power).
“ But 2013 was my year of awareness”
I’ m now able to relate and connect with others more effectively and be of service. Not everyone is in the same space as me, so I exercise more patience and understanding. This awareness has made me more flexible, less critical and more loving. I was also profoundly affected by something I read which reinforced my thoughts here. The read depicted the importance of simply“ loving more” when times become challenging. To love more combats difficult situations; it puts out social fires, emotional upsets, and calms our inner beast which can rise up from time to time.
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Terah Lawyer( Sage) # X07919 510 24-2L P. O. Box 1508 CCWF Chowchilla, CA 93610
I have finally experienced true inner peace. I have written many pieces on my wish to obtain inner peace but never fully embraced it because I didn ' t know how to obtain it. But 2013 was my year of awareness. I now have a beautiful understanding of my existence, much more clarity on my defined purpose, and a renewed sense of passion and zest for life. I want my journey through this world to be an example, to my peers, my community, and whoever else witnesses my actions. I want others to be empowered to reach their own, full potential— and then share their inner riches with others as well. 2013, for me, even in prison, was a very good year!