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same time I could even go out and enjoy myself . This meant I could eat in hotels and have tea and bhajias without restrictions . The business was a business of contracts , and was full of corruption and politics .
Awareness Even When Getting Married
I was sixteen years old when my marriage was decided . My bride Hira was fourteen years old . On my wedding day I was wearing a new turban ; it became displaced from the weight of the headdress made from flowers . I looked to the side and did not see Hiraba anywhere . The turban had tilted to one side . I looked up to take a peek at Hiraba but I could not see her because of the headdress . Surely the groom is going to be curious about the bride because in those days it was not customary for the bride or the groom to meet before their marriage . They would see each other , for the first time at their wedding-alter . Because of my big headdress , I could not see Hiraba . It was at that time that it occurred to me that although we were getting married , one of us was bound to become a widow , not both of us but one of us . Such a thought occurred to me during this time ; it touched me for a moment . It was because I was not able to see Hiraba ’ s face .
Considered Them As Guests
I was nineteen years old , when my son was born . To celebrate his birth I had distributed pendas ( sweets ) to all my friends and shortly after when he died , I celebrated his death by distributing the sweets again . When I distributed the pendas the second time , people thought we had a second son . When they asked about the occasion , I told them , ‘ First eat the sweets and then I will tell you the occasion ’, because if I were to tell them the reason beforehand , they would not accept the sweets . After they finished eating I told them , ‘ The guest who had come , is now gone ( died ).’ They were appalled and asked me how I