Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel Autobiograpy Of Gnani Purush A.M.Patel | Page 29

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of ascetics from North India at a nearby ashram in Bhadaran.
I would massage their feet because they were very pure. One
day one of them said to me, ‘Son, God will take you to moksha.’
I told him that I would appreciate it if he did not say such things
because I found it unacceptable. He felt that I did not understand
since I was only a child. He told me that gradually I would
understand it. Later on I thought if God were to take me to
moksha, he would become my superior and would dictate over
me. He would offer me a seat next to him and would ask me
to vacate the place when his acquaintance would come. Instead
of such dependency it is better to enjoy some bhajias with your
wife; this kind of dependency is better. Such a ‘moksha’ is
better than the other. I do not want moksha where there is a
superior above me who dictates my moves.
So even at age of thirteen I had such thoughts about
independence. I did not want any kind of moksha where there
was a superior over me. If such a moksha did not exist, even
then one thing was for sure. I did not want either a superior
above me or any subordinate under me. For sure I did not want
any subordinates.
I did not want moksha where I am told where to sit and
where. I wanted moksha where there was no superior above
me and no inferior below me. I wanted a path of liberation void
of any attachments. At the time I was not aware that such a
thing as the path of the vitarag Lords existed. All I knew was
that I did not want any superior. I did not want a God that
dictates. Such a God can go home, what use would I have for
such God? If he is a God, then so am I. It does not matter if
he tries to keep me under control for a while but I didn’t want
it and for what purpose? For mere gratification of these five
senses? What is the use of such gratification? Animals have
temptations and so do we, so what is the difference between
the animals and us?