PERSONAL NARRATIVE
It’s Time to Let My Amazing Teen
with Autism Be Her Own Person
By Rachel LANDRY FAHRNEY, MEd
I
knew it was coming, and I’m ashamed to say I
honestly didn’t want her to go. Not because I
thought she would have a less than stellar time,
but because I knew she would be flying solo,
dancing alone, placidly moving amongst her
peers in a school gym minus the entanglements
of awkward middle-school friendships that
complement adolescence. She would be on display,
friendless, for all to see, and my heart was breaking
as my mind drew the pictures.
My sixth-grade daughter—red hair, blue eyes, au-
tistic—was ready to attend the winter dance at her
middle school. She had politely requested NOT to
38 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 87
go shopping for a dress but rather wear a floral dress
and coordinating suede boots that belonged to me.
The boots were comfortable and warm—check.
She could wear leggings under her dress—check.
The dress had pockets—check. The little nuanc-
es non-sensory seekers don’t think about when we
dress, she can find distracting. She permitted me
to curl her hair and brush a bit of sparkle onto her
eyelids, but that was it. No lipstick! No mascara! She
would feel that, and it would bother her. No jacket.
The dress had long sleeves, and that was enough.
Her dad drove her to the dance and dropped her
off. She had enough money for entry, concessions,