Teach us to go against the flow
Don ’ t assume we know less than you
Sibling workshops
Tell us we don ’ t have to be superhuman
PARENTAL ADVICE
2 .
Teach us to go against the flow
Especially when you ’ re younger , it ’ s easy to give in to group pressure . Some studies suggest that children with autism can be at a higher risk of being bullied than other children . They may also be unable to communicate this to parents and other adults . Children often act and speak before they think , and are often quick to question , or even taunt , behaviors that , to them , seem unnatural . Teach us to put our siblings and their special needs first so that we are prepared to stand up for them . Teach us that it ’ s wrong to use the R-word , and it ’ s wrong to use mental diagnoses as derogatory terms . Teach us what to do in situations where we might be torn between siding with our peers or with our siblings .
3 .
Don ’ t assume we know less than you
We ’ ve had our siblings with autism our whole lives , or at least for a large part of it . Autism will always be a part of our lives , and we would be different people had our siblings not had it . Unlike most parents , who have had to educate themselves at a later age about something they perhaps knew very little about before , we learn how autism works at an early age from seeing our siblings — we see how our siblings are different and we develop our own strategies for coping with it . Maybe we haven ’ t read all the parenting books , but we know our siblings , just like any siblings do , so let us teach you , too , sometimes .
4 .
Sibling workshops
Sibling workshops are great because they give us the chance to discuss what can feel like a personal and sensitive topic and meet others in the same unique situation . Even if everyone has a unique family situation and siblings are on different places on the spectrum , it can be very liberating just to be able to talk about things in a safe space with others who understand what we are going through . There are also many online groups and support networks , and those can be just as helpful . Parents , do suggest to your neurotypical children to go to these kinds of meetings , because there are many things about our siblings and their disorders that only we see as siblings , and it can make us feel less lonely in our situations .
5 .
Tell us we don ’ t have to be superhuman
Siblings of neurotypicals usually mature and become more autonomic and independent much ear-
36 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 72