MELTDOWNS
WHAT IS A TEMPER TANTRUM?
A temper tantrum typically occurs when a child is de-
nied what he/she wants to have, or wants to do.
Parents observe many tantrums during the “terrible
twos,” when young children are beginning to assert
independence. In fact, this “terrible twos” stage is
typically experienced between one to four years old
because it takes a while to develop the needed mo-
tor, language, and problem-solving skills!
Toddlers and preschoolers are developmentally
prone to tantrums because they lack refined skills
in any one area to sort through frustrations on their
own. This is because:
They have an emerging desire to become
independent, but have limited motor skills
and cognitive skills (planning, organization,
execution), making it impossible to actually
BE independent.
They have emerging, developing language
skills that make communicating wants/
needs frustrating.
The prefrontal cortex of the brain has not
yet developed. This is the brain center re-
sponsible for emotional regulation and so-
cial behavior—so they do not have the abil-
ity to regulate!
They are developing an understanding of
their worlds, and it’s often anxiety produc-
ing. This anxiety and lack of control often
results in tantrums when it all gets to be too
much to manage.
A hallmark of a tantrum is that the behavior will
usually persist if the child gains attention for his/her
behavior, but will subside when ignored. When chil-
dren tantrum, they maintain control of their behav-
ior and can adjust the level of the tantrum based
on the feedback received from adults around them.
The tantrums will resolve when the child either gets
what he/she wants, or when he/she realizes that this
outburst will not result in getting his/her way. When
parents “give in” to tantrum outbursts, children are
more likely to repeat the behavior the next time they
are denied what they want or need.
10 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 68
As children age, they develop self-regulation skills to
manage the emotions associated with anxiety and
anger. If tantrum outbursts persist past what is de-
velopmentally appropriate, social-emotional diffi-
culties may arise from maladaptive responses to an-
ger and anxiety.
WHAT IS A MELTDOWN?
A meltdown occurs when the child loses control over
his/her behavior and can only be calmed down by a
parent, or when he/she reaches the point of exhaus-
tion.
Meltdowns are reactions to feeling overwhelmed
and are often seen as a result of sensory overstimu-
lation. Tantrums can lead to meltdowns, so it can be
hard to tell the difference between the two outbursts
(and respond appropriately) if you’re not attuned to
your child’s sensory signals.
When a person with autism experiences too much
sensory stimulation, the central nervous system is
overwhelmed and unable to process all of the input.
It’s a physiological “traffic jam” in the central nervous
system, and the sensory overstimulation is not un-
like a maladaptive response to an actual traffic jam.
We’ve all had the experience of happily driving to
our destination, cruising down the highway, sing-
ing along to our favorite song, when all of a sudden,