PARENTAL ADVICE
People on the spectrum are also more likely to have encounters
with police if their behaviors are mistaken for being
intoxicated, high, or resisting arrest. Saying, ‘I am autistic,’
can literally save lives in these cases.
4.
I Am Autistic
We found it most helpful for the children to learn
to say, “I am autistic,” when they were struggling
with some social interaction, or being questioned
as to why they were doing something unusual.
Also, it can be even more helpful if they can learn
to give their names and their caregiver’s name to
say along with “I am autistic.” This developed out
of my frustration with my first-born son who has
autism and was often glared at or lectured by rel-
atives, friends, or strangers. When people know a
child has a developmental delay, they are much
more accepting and understanding. I noted this
in how differently children with Down syndrome
were treated by strangers than children on the
spectrum. After wishing I could hang a sign on
him saying, “I am autistic,” every time we left the
house, I taught him to say it. It helped with both
the autistic girls later, and also helped their neu-
rotypical siblings as well, as they would say, “My
sister is autistic,” when they witnessed these in-
cidents. My three children with autism are all
verbal, and though they spoke much later than
neurotypical children, they were able to say this
within time. However, this hack could be used by
nonverbal children as well by having them learn
to sign it, or having them learning to point to a
medical ID bracelet that says it.
People on the spectrum are also more likely to
have encounters with police if their behaviors
are mistaken for being intoxicated, high, or re-
sisting arrest. Saying, “I am autistic,” can literally
save lives in these cases.
5.
Pot Meet Kettle
This life hack is similar to the previous one, but
for more difficult situations. It is more often
used by caregivers but can be employed by
the autistic person in dire need. There are times
when you need to tell others what the situa-
tion is, when they are not just asking what is the
problem, where the “I am autistic” hack works
36 | Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 68
well. Alas, sometimes an ignorant, hateful per-
son is being abusive, assaulting, and assuming
the child is just a brat and/or assuming you are
just a terrible mother/sister/caregiver. This took
place mostly in grocery stores, but also at family
gatherings, gas stations, and senior prom.
This life hack works when you or your child are be-
ing mistreated verbally by others commenting on
their behavior, threatening to report them to au-
thorities or such—in cases that stronger terms are
needed than the simple “I am autistic” statement,
you tell the offender, “My child has poor social skills
because she is autistic. What is your excuse?”
This works so well to stop Nosey Nellies and
bullies in their tracks. I’ve had to employ it over
a dozen times...and never once had the kettle
come up with an answer to the question. No
one says you have to be polite to rude people
attacking you or your child. When being assault-
ed, introduce the pot to the kettle.
6.
Use Their Obsessions
Most people on the spectrum have some ob-
sessions upon which they fixate. My eldest son
is obsessed with comic book super heroes. This
has been so helpful. Telling him the X-Men will
be disappointed if he misbehaves while seeing
their new movie ensured he was a model mov-
ie audience member. Telling him to be fast like
Superman when I needed him to hurry because
we were running late worked like a charm. One
of his Individualized Education Program (IEP)
modifications was that when doing standard-
ized testing, a new comic book would be placed
on the blackboard in the front of the room while
he did his test, and he was allowed to get it if he
quietly took the test and turned it in on time.
My youngest daughter is obsessed with animals.
She was struggling with my grandmother’s
death, and her grief therapist was making little
progress with her as she began ripping out her