PARENTAL ADVICE
That doesn’t change the fact I’m still here to pro-
tect him. Ever since the first day, I’ve made it a hab-
it to stand by the window until the bus drives off.
Through rain, snow, sleet, and hail, I’ve waited pa-
tiently—sometimes for minutes on end—while he
takes a seat and looks through the window. I also
wave incessantly.
The excitement of looking through the window usu-
ally trumps any wave back. Most days, it doesn’t even
matter that I’m standing there. He never looks my
way as he settles into his seat, but I keep going any-
way. He’s my little guy. Autism spectrum or not, I al-
ways want my child to know that I’m there to protect
him. With my daughter, I can simply say, “I’m always
here to protect you.” With Lucas, it’s not as straight-
forward. My goofy, grinning dad-face in that window
every morning is my way of telling him. Of course, he
probably already knows that, but it doesn’t matter.
Truth be told, it’s not really about him. It’s about me.
Lucas is fine. He’s been fine from the start. It’s about
learning that I don’t always need to physically be
there. I don’t have to beat myself up about sending
him on the bus, because he can handle it. If he can’t,
there is the matron or the driver there to help. It’s
about learning I can let go and trust others will have
my son’s best interests at heart. While that’s not true
in every instance, it’s been true up until now. It’s giv-
en me a sense of relief that sending him out into the
world isn’t as impossible as I imagined at the start.
I still stand there until the bus rolls away. I still jump
at the chance to run and get him if he needs me. The
difference now is I know he most likely won’t. If he
does, though, I’ll be there waving and ready.
James Guttman has been writing for 15 years
and introduced his blog earlier this year. James
writes about parenting both of his children (one
nonverbal and one non-stop verbal), self-reflec-
tion, and all that comes with fatherhood. His mix
of humor and honesty aim to normalize the way
people view raising a child with special needs
and show that parents are all basically the same,
regardless of the children they’re raising.
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