PARENTAL ADVICE
Being a parent is incredibly hard work and can test us in ways we
never could have imagined. And the only way we can be strong and
keep fighting for our kids is by working together as a team.
But this year I feel that maybe we have been lacking a bit in the romance department for just too long
now and would like to rectify this somehow. So I feel
like I should embrace the sentiment of Valentine’s
Day this year if not the love hearts and roses bit.
And, to be honest, when we only get one night out
a year (if we’re lucky) I’m not about to waste it in a
packed, noisy bar with a sticky floor, getting stale
beer knocked down my dress as some drunkard falls
off his barstool and knocks his drink flying in my direction. And neither do I really fancy paying over
the odds for a special set menu in my local Chinese
restaurant when I could go the following night and
pay half the price for food I actually want. Who said
romance was dead, eh?
So what does that leave us with?
a) A night in on the sofa watching Netflix
b) Just give up and accept romance is
never gonna happen for us
c) Or use my imagination and think outside
the box a little!
So let’s consider my options...
Option A
A night in on the sofa actually sounds quite appealing to me as normally watching TV together isn’t
something that happens a lot. Our son, like many
other kids with autism, just doesn’t sleep well at all.
So for us evenings usually involve lots of running up
and down the stairs, making snacks and telling the
kids to get back in bed whilst wearing out the pause
button on the remote control. So nights are a ‘no go’
really. But maybe the Hubby could book a few hours
off work while the kids are at school? Yeah that could
work. Then we could put on our comfy pants and
watch a rom-com on the sofa. Maybe even pushing
the boat out and ordering a Hawaiian pizza and a
bottle of pop to share — in the daytime I hear you
cry, now that’s what I call living on the edge.
Option B
Just give up and accept romance is never gonna happen for us? Well as busy as I am and as much as I grunt
and moan at him for him leaving his socks on the bathroom floor, I really do love him you know. We were
teenage sweethearts in the ‘olden days’ and I couldn’t
get through the day without him. He is my rock and
I know I don’t always show it but he is the love of my
life. So I reckon I have to fight to keep the romance
alive. Being a parent is incredibly hard work and can
test us in ways we never could have imagined. And
the only way we can be strong and keep fighting for
our kids is by working together as a team. So I refuse
to roll over and admit defeat. I will keep the flickering
candle of romance alive in our marriage. (It may be
more of a scented tea-light kinda flame rather than a
red hot roaring log fire- but a flame none the less it
will be!) So how am I gonna do this I hear you ask?
Option C
By thinking outside of the box a little. Our son thinks
outside the box everyday of his life and he has
taught us to view the world in a unique way, and he
doesn’t always accept things at face value. So I am
going to learn from him and rethink my notion of romance. The commercial side of Valentines can really
put pressure on couples to do the whole flowers and
chocolates thing, and makes us feel bad when we
just can’t. Sometimes the reality is that we are just
too busy or too knackered as parents, and the more
pressure we put on ourselves to conform to the giant
fluffy teddy’s and singing love heart cards, well the
more it actually starts to feel like a chore. Something
that we have to do because society tells us to.
So this year I am going to try and remember the real
meaning behind the celebrations. And it’s not necessarily all about romance but something a whole lot
deeper than that:
LOVE
Love can be shown and felt in so many ways. I don’t
need a shop bought card from my husband to know
Autism Parenting Magazine | Issue 44
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