The Meltdown Experience
By: Delaine Swearman
Unlike people who chose to skydive for fun or for the thrill of it, I do not choose to have meltdowns, but there are some similarities between the two experiences.
Your head suddenly feels as if it’s going to to explode. You are flooded with feelings of confusion, panic, anger, fear, desperation, and a feeling of being trapped. There is nowhere to escape. You are falling fast. The wind is screaming in your face. You have no idea of what’s up or what's down. Your body surges with adrenaline. You feel an intense energy build within you. You are in the “fight or flight” survival mode. The only thing that you can focus on, is what you need right now. All other thinking has shut down completely due to the the overwhelming overload of the experience. This freefall may last for a relatively short-time, or you may plunge perilously for quite a while, but regardless of how long it lasts, it's a terrifying experience.
Eventually, you remember that you have a parachute and that pulling it can get you out of your current situation. Then you finally stop falling. Now you are completely exhausted, and the intense energy drains away gradually as you start to feel safe again. You feel calm once more. You are alone in silence and nothing feels like it's moving. You look around now as you float under the open canopy of the parachute. You see the world around you, from a distance, as you slowly float down to the ground.
You need that time, just observing, not interacting, to recover from your experience. The time under the canopy gives you your strength back. It allows you to land on your feet so that you can rejoin the world.
That’s what it's like to have a meltdown.
In case you are wondering, once I’ve started falling, there's really nothing you can do to help me. The best thing you can offer is space, because I'm able to find my parachute quicker that way, and please remember that I need alone time so I can bring my parachute to the ground.
Imagine you are flying in a small airplane with an open door in the back. After getting into the plane, you choose a seat in the front. As the flight starts, you feel calm and secure, but gradually things start happening that push you further and further towards the open door. First, extra people cram themselves in front of you. Then the plane starts flying erratically. You become more and more frustrated with your fellow passengers and anxious as you desperately try to hold on. There’s shouting and shoving and suddenly you are kicked backwards, head first, out of the open door.