Authorpreneur Magazine Issue 3 | Page 10

buy some dresses. I might book a holiday – but not very far and exotic, and preferably with family. I might buy a Micra with power steering. Oh, go on I might buy a nicer car. But not much nicer. Nice enough!

So I have learnt that even forcibly removing goods from a person is tough, but you can survive. I cannot claim to have learnt any deep stuff from this shit. I probably should be able to point to a moment and a feeling and say- Yes that is when I knew who I was or some sort of thing. I can’ t. I can’ t even claim to feel good about hitting the bottom, because I have hit more bottoms than Mr Grey, without any pleasure, and I see no sign of that downslide abating – yet!

But it has reinforced my knowledge that possessions are much less important than things, experiences and people. Always people. But I always knew that Universe, so why did you take everything away? I can only hope so you can give it back, tenfold! Lol

However, while I know that stuff is not important. Hey, I was brought up by two great parents and a brother, so I knew that, but I learnt something else, something quite surprising.

You’ d think that losing everything would make me very weak and vulnerable. It would turn me into a church-mouse who was scared of everything. I would be looking over my shoulder at shadows, jumping at noises in the bushes and terrified of authority. It didn’ t. Actually the opposite was true. Now don’ t get me wrong, I have spent nights crying myself to sleep, I have spent days unable to get out of bed, I have walked in a daze and known no one before me. But I am not afraid.

I admit to being scared. I worry about the future( although I recognise that is futile in itself). I alternate between great enthusiasm when I wake, to extreme tiredness at the end of day, and yet still fail to sleep through a full night. But I am not afraid.

So, I looked at my talents and writing is my passion.

While gainfully employed I had no time to write. Now, I had nothing to distract me, so, I took out my metaphorical pen and I wrote a bonk buster. A real page turner with lots of steamy sex. When I say steamy, a recent reviewer said I made 50shades look positively monochrome by comparison. But the difference is that I put my heart and soul into the book. It is a book about a 40 year old woman coming to terms with life, children, dating and basically holding the can. I thought long and hard about this writing, especially the steamy side of it, but I knew at the end of the day I am not afraid. Of course, my two children are mortified. They are teenagers and the thought of their mother writing about sex is terrible, worse than if I was found guilty of shoplifting at Aldi. I don’ t blame them but I am not afraid of them either, or rather their reaction.

I have two more books in this fun and racy series that I am writing now. And do you know the nicest thing? This is fiction. I can write the ending and while I lead my main character through the valley of death, despair and trouble, I am giving her a fabulous ending! Oh the power of the pen!

So, when possessions depart- and bravery enters by the main door- then it is time to write!

Aoife Brennan is 42 years of age. She lives with her two teenage boys in Dublin. Dublin is a small city so she is( creatively) keeping her face out of the way of the camera.

Aoife blogs her ' random thoughts ' on The Cougar Diaries blog

thecougardiariesireland. wordpress. com