She was struggling to believe that someone she trusted had intentionally harmed her .

And part of her wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt as she went through all the possible reasons for what he did .

That changed when she discovered a week later that he had drugged her .

It was 2013 , and Dr Lee was in the final year of her radiation oncology training in Sydney .

She had just spent a year on secondment at Liverpool Hospital ; she was returning to St George Hospital when Professor John Kearsley , 60 , head of radiation oncology at the hospital , offered to mentor her .

He invited her to dinner so they could discuss it further .

“ I did not have a reason to doubt his intentions ,” Dr Lee tells Australian Doctor .

“ Registrars come and go , and people do not pay much attention , so when someone reaches out from a very senior position and says , ‘ Let ’ s do this mentoring so we can do better for our registrars next year ,’ most people would jump at that .

“ He had previously hosted [ students ] at his home , so I do not think it dawned on me at the time that it was unusual .”

Dr Lee assumed Professor Kearsley ’ s wife would be there , but when she arrived at Professor

Kearsley ’ s home , she was told his wife was away .

Dr Lee cannot pinpoint exactly when she knew the evening started to go badly wrong .

“ That is what has haunted me for years . The things I reported were vivid memories , but there are gaps in that 24-hour period .

“ I think it was during dinnertime that I started to wonder why I was feeling so sleepy .”

At one point , Professor Kearsley took her for a walk in nearby Centennial Park .

She recalls leaning against him because she was struggling to walk properly .

She next recalls sitting on a couch back in Professor Kearsley ’ s home while he massaged her .

Her next memory is lying in his bedroom while he took her clothes off and touched her breasts despite her repeatedly saying no .

Finally , he allowed her to leave and watched her drive off . She was still drugged .

The following morning , the memories of the evening were a blur , but friends told her she had called them in distress .

It was then that a close physician friend insisted on taking her to a GP , who insisted a drug test be performed . The results came a week later . The GP called to say the urine tests showed she had been drugged with benzodiazepine , Dr Lee says .

“ Until the results came back , I thought the assault that happened that night was a result of him drinking , and maybe he was too drunk .

“ I knew that I could not go back and work there with this man , but

it did not cross my mind that it was malicious or done with criminal intent .

“ I think we excuse a lot of bad behaviour because somebody is drunk or under the influence or whatever . But then the drug test came back positive , and I was like , ‘ Oh my gosh , this is criminal .’”

Nevertheless , it still took time to grapple with the reality .

Initially , she and a friend decided to make anonymous calls to the local police and a sexual violence support service describing a hypothetical situation involving the friend and asking what they should do .

When the police officer started asking questions , Dr Lee said she would hang up .

“ One day , within two weeks of the positive drug test , I just decided , well , it is either I pursue my career and be quiet or I try to stop it from happening to other women .

“ It was affecting me in such a devastating way . I was dead inside . But if I found out the same thing happened to another woman down the track , I just knew I would not be able to live with myself ,” she says .

She says the police officer who took charge of her case fought her corner . But Dr Lee stresses she still had to “ wave the piece of paper of evidence in front of him

five times ” to convince him .

“ Without that drug test result , I do not think he would have pursued it ; that was the sad reality .

“ I was reminded by the police that [ Professor Kearsley ’ s ] record was pristine .”

The aftermath

The initial test ordered by the GP

only revealed the class of drug in Dr Lee ’ s system . A key part of the case was the police request for further tests , which showed the drug was actually lorazepam : commonly used in radiation oncology as an anxiolytic .

It was found in Professor Kearsley ’ s office at his hospital during a subsequent police search .

As part of the investigation ,

She was struggling to believe that someone she trusted had intentionally harmed her .

Dr Lee said she also had to speak to Professor Kearsley after police secured permission for pretext calls — where the victim of a crime can phone the suspect under the supervision of a police officer to see if they will confess on tape .

When Dr Lee contacted him by email to ask if they could speak , he agreed .

She told him what she remembered and asked what had happened . At first , he said he had no idea what she was talking about .

“ He then made some weird comparison between his mother touching him and it would have

been like a fatherly touch , which was ridiculous .”

Professor Kearsley then sent emails to Dr Lee saying he suspected he had experienced an alcoholic blackout , which she did not believe for a second .

“ He walked me out to my car and watched me drive away in a completely altered state . I asked him what type of blackout allows people to walk and talk and co-ordinate their movements ?”

He also suggested they attend counselling together .

“ He tried to offer me a fellow position and told me that reporting these things never had a satisfactory outcome for either party .

“ I found the process demeaning — I could not believe he thought I would agree to any of these things .”

Career and personal impact

Dr Lee knew she could not return to

St George Hospital as planned , but she did have the support of the Liverpool Hospital medical director .

A few months after the assault , she passed her fellowship exams .

But by then , Dr Lee was worrying about being a “ burden ” to the Liverpool Hospital radiation oncology department .

“ I thought no-one would want me in that specialty even though no-one told me that and the few people who knew about the assault were extremely supportive and kind to me .

“ I just felt , based on my lived experience to date , that I would be labelled as a troublemaker and I just would not be able to carry on .”