PICTURE CREDIT

Alas , I eventually realised that

perfection was overrated and a

sure-fire way to set one up for

disappointment .

As I grew older , I modified my

strategy : I tried to do my best , fully

acknowledging that my best might

be light-years away from perfection .

I came to accept the idea of being

‘ good enough ’.

As a doctor , though , looking after

the health of others , the stakes are

high . I am cautious . I would rather

get a second opinion than miss

something — even if , in doing so , I

may look foolish .

The aim is to do the best for my

superlative quick thinking and char-

from irritable bowel syndrome .

And on administering the Kessler

In that case , could she please

patient regardless of whether or not I

ity , the specialist said it was an opti-

Alas , the pathologist worded his

Psychological Distress Scale ( K10 ): “ Is

move her hand in a circular motion

am discredited in the process .

cal illusion .

conclusion professionally : “ Common

this the fruit loop test ?”

over her crotch , after which her hand

So I have been quietly amused

My patient admitted that he

garden earthworm , sometimes enters

After a self-collected HPV test ,

would be scanned .

when patients report back to me

could see the ENT smiling through

cistern system .”

my 70-year-old patient commented :

Was that to detect molecular

about their specialist interactions .

his mask , and my patient totally

I immediately recognised my

“ Why , it is just like a COVID-19 test

traces of cocaine ? Gelignite ? Bacterial

One fellow had presented to me

cracked up .

deficiency and organised the

‘ down there ’.”

vaginosis ?

with unilateral tinnitus .

Just to be clear , before anyone

appropriate mandatory CPD via

But how can you keep a straight

My patient said she was not eas-

When I examined the ear in

face when a patient tells you the fol-

ily embarrassed , but simulating mas-

question , I saw the strangest sort of spherical blob .

The other ear was normal . I was perturbed by my initial finding and re-examined the ear in ques-

I recognised my deficiency and organised the appropriate mandatory CPD via ABC ’ s Gardening Australia .

lowing story of public humiliation .

She was at the airport and had set off the ‘ stand legs apart ’ body scanner . It had triggered in a sensitive area ; there was a circle on the screen

turbation in a public place thronging with people was not something she would normally choose to do .

She was told that apparently one in five women experience this .

tion . I confirmed the abnormality .

around her pudenda .

She asked for the reason .

I relayed my finding of the blob in

starts firing off , as my patient had

ABC ’ s Gardening Australia .

Did they think she was a septuage-

“ We think it could be something

my referral letter .

unilateral tinnitus , there was an

Of course , GPs are also required to

narian smuggling drugs vaginally or

to do with sanitary products .”

With the patient informed of my

indication to follow up with MRI

retain a sense of professionalism with

that her fashion accessories included

“ But I ’ m nearly 72 ,” she replied .

mysterious finding , he trotted off to the ENT .

anyway . The referral was not a total waste .

an assortment of utterances from their patients .

a clitoral ring ? She was told by the awkward

Well , I guess that is just another impediment to travelling these

Apparently , the examination by

On another occasion , I sent a

After advising someone to cut

female security guard that she had to

days .

the specialist was blobless .

worm that a patient had retrieved

down on drinking , he replied : “ What

be further investigated . Did she want

My patient queried him about

from the toilet that she attributed

use is drinking less if it doesn ’ t make

this done in a private room ?

my finding . In an example of

to be the cause of years of misery

you drunk ?”

Definitely NOT .

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