The 401
FIRST PERSON
PHOTOGRAPHY: COURTESY OF DANA LAVERTY.
I
Crying in Uniqlo Traveling halfway across the world allows a mother to make peace with saying goodbye.
’ M IN A TARGET PARKING LOT, SOBBING IN MY CAR.
The task was simple enough: I had to pick up extra-long twin sheets for my kiddo, Alex, for their first year of college.
But as I waited for the cashier to bring out my bag, I saw a hot pink Barbie convertible near the register. It was a Little People brand; the squat little blonde doll grinned out at me from the box, perky and plastic as ever.
Tears slashed my eyes as I recalled days spent on the living room floor playing with Alex’ s Little People house. It was light blue and swung open to reveal the rooms inside. We’ d spend hours having mommy or daddy knock at the front door, cooking pretend food in the kitchen, putting the kiddos to bed upstairs and placing mommy— always mommy— on the toilet.
“ Mommy has to pee,” toddler Alex would say, all serious-like, plunking the little doll onto her plastic throne.( To be fair, I do have a bottle of water by my side 24 / 7. But plastic momma tinkled constantly. I think it was her job.)
I practically sprinted to my car, holding back the sobs until I sat inside. In a few weeks, Alex would be off to college in Boston. I should be excited— it was the culmination of all their hard work in high school. The hours of reading and studying. Of taking virtual classes during the pandemic. Of being dropped off every day at the ungodly hour of 7 a. m. Instead, I’ m keening in the parking lot of the North Attleboro Target, convinced my world was spinning off its axis.
Alex is the center of my universe, the heart of our two-person nuclear family. Memories flashed by like photographs: The sunny autumn day they were born, watching the trees sway outside as I wobbled through a hallway in the Women & Infants’ maternity ward. A midnight bottle, rocking under the moonlight and looking down at Alex’ s sweet little face. The tearful goodbye( mine) at the first day of preschool, Alex decked out in pigtails and a Hello Kitty outfit. Drawing, always drawing. Hot-glue-gunning together improvised, extremely detailed Halloween costumes. Decorating Christmas cookies in swirls of icing and sparkles. Spelling bees. School dances. Summer camp. High school graduation.
How had a lifetime gone by already?
THE SUMMER AFTER ALEX GRADUATED, we took a dream trip to Tokyo and Kyoto. We’ ve always been fascinated by Japan’ s culture, food and history, and crafted our ideal itinerary with the help of a tour planner that catered to English-speaking tourists and booked all of our hotel stays,
34 RHODE ISLAND MONTHLY I AUGUST 2025